Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Haunted by my dreams

Sophia has been in my mind so much longer than what I was pregnant. Tyler and I will be together for 15 years in November and she has been a feature of my imagination for at least 10 of those years. I always assumed we would have a little girl first. She would hopefully have Daddy's olive skin and my hair and we would argue over if she would have his eyebrows or not, poor thing. She was always right there in my mind. My little girl who we thought would look a lot like Boo from Monsters, Inc. Now, I feel like my imagination haunts me.

I dream of what Sophia would be like. I have seen her grow up as a toddler and then as a young girl. I wake up shaken and upset, but part of me smiles for what she could have been. It is a hard thing to swallow. How did I even get to this place?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry that you won't be able to see how your little Sophia would have turned out. Just know that she will be looking over you and keeping you safe.