Sunday, April 25, 2010

Feeling so Lost

I posted this week about my blood work coming back all messed up and my blood pressure still being high... this is weighing on me so much. My body hates me. I mean really hates me. I truly do not know how much more I can take. I think I am just at a breaking point. I feel so lost, with no true direction. This week I realized that I don't have any answers. My OB is completely at a loss as to why Sophia didn't make it.

Where does that leave us? It took us 2.5 years and 5 embryo transfers just to be lucky enough to get pregnant once with Sophia. Seriously? Why would I even begin to think that we could get lucky again? What makes me think that I could even trust my body with another child to grow? For so long I have concentrated on getting pregnant and now I just don't know. I don't know much of anything anymore. I feel like the further we get from everything, the more I am crumbling. So much pain is in my heart. /vent over


gringa78 said...

((HUGS)) I'm always, always thinking of you.

Diana said...

Sending you more warm hugs. Please consider talking to a professional, you have been through so much, too much for anyone to have to endure.