Accupuncture....nah, I will just go to the Spa!

So I came up with my own relaxation plan after coming to the conclusion that acupuncture is right in line with the massage therapist I saw before the wedding. I just can't deal with the whole Mother Earth type thing. I know some people are truly into that, and that is wonderful that they find solace in Mother Earth, but I do not, not like that.

I called 2 places yesterday... one immediately told me she would treat my kidneys because they are the Mother of the Meridian... Ok.... um, I will be in touch.... She wanted me to come in 4 times a week for 3 months are $50 a pop. Um, no thanks!

The second place I called refused to give me a quote on a per session package. She said that had 24 sessions and it was a combo price of $500.... um again, no thanks!

So I did what any other girl who just needed a little relaxation would do.... I called the spa! I booked a facial for the Wednesday before my Monday ER and I booked a spa mani/pedi for the Wednesday in between the ER and ET. I am so excited and it is so much cheaper. I could do this quite a few times and still be ahead.

Again, I know there are many out there who find relaxation in the acupuncture and massage worlds... I am just not one of them. Facials are my limit :)

Good News! For once in this journey...

Right when we thought the other shoe was going to fall, Ty and I were given the green light for IVF. We are so excited. I broke down when Dr. J gave us the good new. Apparently the high level that came back was not high at all and it wasn't even a concern. You could feel the huge sigh Ty and I both took as he told us we were a go.

After that, all was a breeze. I asked about 2 dozen questions all with easy answers and then I asked about counseling and accupuncture. He recommended both, especially as I was asking him about counseling, tears were running down my face. I have just been so emotional. My self esteem has been low with all of this and I could just really use someone to talk to.

As of now, we go back Friday for a shots class and then start injections Sunday. Yikes! This is really happening, folks!

Scared.

Today is the day we get the news if we are really going to do IVF or not. Ty and I had thought it would be a sure thing. We would do his SDFA tests and they would come back fine. It would just be an after thought. Well, they didn't come back fine. His HDS is high. Just what we need, another obstacle.

I am hoping that this is just a minor thing, and that ICSI will be the cure. Keep your fingers crossed for us today. This could be it. We either do IVF or we don't have a biological baby.

They were everywhere...

Pregnant women, that is. Ty and I went out for our 4 year anniversary dinner and had a great time. We were enjoying our drinks and appetizers when all of the sudden I heard "I just popped this week! It is the first time I am really showing!" I cringed as I looked to my left. There stood a beautiful, glowing couple greatly preggo and proud of it surrounded by proud parents on both sides. They were seated at the table next to us. The new daddy-to-be got a gift from his father for father's day. The mother-to-be was beaming. I thought good for them.... until about 20 minutes later and they were still carrying on. I couldn't take anymore.

It was just so hard. I didn't shed any tears but Ty knew I was going down and in a hurry. He was wonderful comforting me in his ways, as I proclaimed God hates me over and over. And then I looked up and saw more preggos. It was like a preggo convention. We then decided that chocolate was in order. When the waitress came back, we asked for the desert menu and decided on a lovely chocolate torte. She came back out with both the chocolatey goodness and 2 chocolate-covered strawberries. It was divine and it made me happy. It made us happy.

On the day when I didn't want to focus on our IF, it was right in our faces all night. It just makes me realize it will always be there, I just need to deal.

For Baby Ru

I am somewhat of a superstitious person, so knowing what the odds are with IVF I am careful as to what I might associate with the process if something were to go wrong. I have won a diamond solitaire necklace, given to me by my hubby, for the last 5 years. This necklace means so much to me. It was my 21st birthday and right before he proposed. The necklace has had a lot of happy memories associated with it.

So I made it my mission to find a replacement for this special piece. Earlier this year, I saw the movie 27 dresses and admired many of the necklaces Katherine Heigl wore. One in particular caught my eye. It was a small disc pendant with a small engraving. I loved the look. Ever since then I have wanted to recapture this look for my own little piece of heaven.

When we got the go ahead for IVF I knew I had to act. I looked far and wide and came up with this from 3 different places:

The first pic is of the front side with an R for our last name.

I wanted a letter that presented both Ty and myself.

This pic is of the backside of the pendant. The BR is for Baby Ru,
our affectionate name for the little one who has yet to visit us.

Corny? Probably. Us? Yes. I needed something to represent our struggle, something that could go away if I needed it to. Something so we would never forget what this has meant for our relationship. IVF makes you look at things differently and we are just trying to live life to its fullest.

New Stamp...even if it is in Portugal.

Saw this by the way of The Nest today and thought it was worth showing. Glad to see someone cares about our struggles.
This is from a blog called Stamps of Distinction:

Portugal, 2008
Is this the world's first
infertility-themed stamp?

In March, 2008, Portugal's postal authority CTT Correios de Portugal, S.A. may have made postal history when it issued the stamp shown on the left. It is thought that this stamp was the first ever stamp specifically issued to raise awareness of the struggles of infertility. In a March, 2008, article in Linn's Stamp News, the de-facto industry standard for philatelic news, suggests that this is, in fact, the first stamp on this topic.

Infertility is the inability of a couple to conceive a child or, if conceived, the inability to successfully carry the child to delivery. The condition is usually associated with strong emotions such as angst, grief, anger, a sense of incompleteness, and depression. The emotional impact to the affected individual or couple can be devastating.

For years, there were only three primary options available to infertile couples. One was to try home-remedies and "quack" cures, which had successes rates attributable to simple luck. Another was to accept their childlessness, which many did reluctantly. The last, and in my opinion, most noble option, was adoption.

As doctors searched for additional options for this debilitating illness, a new technique, called in vitro fertilization, or IVF, was successfully pioneered by British doctors, Patrick Steptoe and Robert Edwards. On July 24, 1978, their technique led to the birth of Louise Joy Brown, the first baby to have been conceived outside of her mother's body.

Louise's parents had tried for a number of years to conceive a child, but with physically blocked Fallopian tubes, Louise's mother was unable to conceive through natural methods. By removing her eggs, fertilizing them outside of the body, and then implanting them, Louise's mother was finally able to become pregnant and bear a child.

This event became a watershed event in the efforts to find a cure for infertility. It meant that couples who had previously been unable to conceive due to physical impairments stood a much-greater chance of conception. While in the best case, it offers about a 50% success rate in younger women, such a percentage is a marked improvement over the miniscule success rates without IVF. It offered a ray of hope and led to more attempts in finding a cure for the illness.

Unfortunately, the high cost of in vitro fertilization has kept the procedure out of reach of many infertile couples. But each year advances are made and many procedures have come down in cost.

The stamp issued by Portugal is beautifully designed and conveys the hopes of infertile couples with its imagery. The stamp shows a stylized silhouette image of a man and woman embracing a child. The image of the child is almost ghost-like in appearance, symbolizing the hope for the child, yet at the same time highlighting the fragility of conception for infertile couples.

The stamp is denominated as 0.30 Euro (approx $0.47 USD). It is currently available for purchase from Portugal's postal authority.

So Overwhelmed

Yesterday I hit a bad spot. I was in the shower and just started to bawl. It snuck up on me and just completely took me over. Hubby was there and just took me in his arms and held me, not knowing why I was so upset. I didn't either. I was pretty out of it all morning. I just feel like a mutant.

I have had health problems since January, and this is on top of all of our IF probs. I have had almost a dozen UTIs since January. They keep coming back. This last time, I was on meds and it seemed cleared up and this was in April. Now I have another one, so I am back on antibiotics. It sucks. To top that all off, I am having bad allergies and both of my eyes are all f'ed up and I have to wear my glasses, which can be annoying.

So Thursday I stop in the pharmacy to pick up my antibiotics for said infection and I find out most of my IVF meds are ready. They start to package all of them up and they just kept coming. I was getting the craziest looks. SO finally they get all of them, minus the menopur on backorder, and package it all up. Those frickin meds took up my entire front seat. It was ridiculous.

I got back to the house and started taking all of them out and I was just in shock of all the needles. It hit me then that all of those stickies would be going into me. Yikes!

But it is Saturday and I am feeling better. I know Ty will be there for me and will have my best interest in heart as he stabs me each night with a needle. I know this, it is just the thought of being stuck so often that gets me. And we get closer....

Pharmacy Nightmares

First off, I am in love with my new BFF, the pharmacist I talked to on Friday night at Walgreen's. I don't know who she is, but she is my BFF. But it took a long time to get there...

I have been shopping around different pharmacies to find the best price for the meds we don't have a co-pay for. For those meds, we have to pay 20%. This can be quite the price difference. I have seen prices for the particular drug from $57-87 a vial. We will need 20-25 vials. This can be a huge price differentiation. So I was calling pharmacies left and right and looking at my options. The pharmacy I had enrolled in didn't have my info at all, even though I had a letter directly from them. They couldn't find me in the system. That was a NO go.

I found that many do not really know what they are talking about fully when it comes to fertility drugs. Everyone had a different opinion, and it was so aggravating.

So finally, I decide on using Walgreen's Specialty Pharmacy. I call my NP and she sends in the prescription, but sends it to just the local Walgreens. I get a call from Walgreens that night saying my prescription wouldn't be ready... no kidding, they need to be shipped in. I call the store to see exactly what is going on and that is when I met my friend. I asked her if this was going through the specialty store and she said no. I asked if they would be able to get all of the meds and she said she was not sure. She took my insurance info and told me she would call her boss. Not long after, she calls back telling me that everything ran through and they could get it all in. She then gave me the total cost. I about fell to the floor. The cost was half of what I was expecting. This was amazing to me. So if all goes right, and this is everything, our costs are going to be way down! Yay!