Wednesday, August 4, 2010

It's the Little Things

When you deal with Infertility, there is so much bad that can happen almost daily, that you really take and cherish the little things in life, when you can. Yesterday I had one of those moments, in the middle of a very big moment. My little thing was Tyler holding my hand and stroking my hair as two of our embryos were transferred back into me. Yes, you read that right, we are trying again. 

It has been an emotional roller coaster of gargantuan proportions, but we made it through and I am now on bedrest. I don't know what the coming weeks will bring, but I have hope for this cycle. I have to have hope. I have to do something to getting back to being happy and this is my way. I can't describe the amount of love I felt for my husband in the moments of our transfer. It is such a cognisant moment. When you are fertile, you don't really know if anything is happening... if the sperm is meeting the egg. With a transfer, you actually watch the embryo being put into place. It is such an overpowering sight.

It was very emotional. Dr. J knew the emotions were very raw for us. I was glad to be back home by lunchtime and have been in bed ever since. Bed got to me a bit, so I am now on couch duty for the rest of the week, hoping good things are happening. I have been very quiet about all of this and truly contemplated never speaking a word of it until/or if I started to show. Yah...I can't keep very quiet. So if you have any spare well wishes, I could really use the cheerleading.

And speaking of Cheerleaders, I have a huge one out in the Bronx. My dear friend sent a lovely care package before my procedure on Tuesday with lucky socks (they were even polka dots!) and some sticky dust as well. Love this girl so much. :)

Love to you all.

11 comments:

cgd said...

wishing you tons of luck for this cycle. i hope the 2ww goes quikly and you get your bfp in the end.

cjdubs13 said...

Oh gosh, I am hoping so much that this works for you and everything goes smoothly!! Good luck!

cjdubs13 said...

Oh gosh, I am hoping so much that this works for you and everything goes smoothly!! Good luck!

Deanna said...

Countdown to BFP has started!!! :)

Alison said...

Lots of sticky baby dust and loads of prayers headed to you!

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy that you're trying again! May your 2ww be full of peace and zen. We're all praying for you and your family.

the baby baker said...

just found your blog, but wanted to wish you luck this cycle! hope those embies are snuggling in tight for the long haul!

Jill said...

Your post was beautiful and captured the moment perfectly. I am hoping this cycle will be successful for you.

LilBear said...

Oh wow. I am so very excited for you guys. I know you must be nervous, but I am unspeakably relieved to know that you found the strength to get back on the roller coaster. You guys are so brave. Hang in there, I'll be holding my breath for you.

theworms said...

sending tons of GL, PPV's and sticky baby dust (from the bronx).

((HUGS)) and prayers too.

i <3 you too.

Pastor Nicole said...

Praying for you constantly!