Sunday, October 5, 2008

The Long Weekend

We ran away. We actually did it. Tyler doesn’t like to say ran away, because it insinuates that we were hiding from something. I, on the other hand, fully ran away from my emotional breakdown that was only a short time from coming.

So where did we go? Toronto. Yes we went all the way to Canada. Less than 12 hours after deciding it was time to leave, we were on the road to Canada. It took more than 12 hours and we ran into a ton of construction, but we made it. I am so glad we did it. We both needed the refuge.

Wednesday evening, after the news settled in, and with the impending 2 “bed rest” days coming, I couldn’t fathom staying home. I was on the Nest reading some very nice notes from some wonderful girls, and I just couldn’t deal. The tears were coming and I didn’t want to break down. Ty was trying to hold me whenever he could, but I didn’t want to let him. I wanted to stay strong, because I knew if I broke, it was over. I would be a mess for no less than the 4 days coming at us, and it would be a sad sight. So I looked over at my hubby and asked him if he wanted to leave. Without hesitancy, he agreed that we needed to get away.

At first, we were looking into short little trips… Kohler, WI…. Iowa’s Beer Fest…. You know, normal 3-4 hours trips, but that just didn’t stick. Then it happened. What about Toronto? I think Tyler brought it up, I am almost sure he did, and I ran with it. I was all about running away to Canada. It was a different place. Neither of us had been and I would have to think about our new surroundings more than sink into my sorrow. I was all in. Then we talked about Niagra. It was settled. I called my brother that night to let him know what had happened. See, we hadn’t told anyone we were doing a transfer, let alone that all of our embryos were gone, and we needed someone to look in on our kitty. SO I let him know that we were heading to Toronto. I think I scared him a bit. I reassured him that I was ok, Ty was ok, we just needed to leave. He was very supportive and let us know it would be ok, and that our kitty would be just fine.

Next we looked into hotels and deemed one appropriate. We picked the #1 hotel in Toronto according to TripAdvisor and then I realized that we would need our birth certificates to cross through customs. This posed a dilemma. Our birth certs are kept at the bank for safe-keeping. The bank doesn’t open until 9am. We did what we could, got everything together and headed to bed.

The next morning we woke up to much excitement and little bit of shock, ok a lot of shock. We were heading to Canada. We got packed, went to the bank, found our birth certs, locked up and headed out. I got a call from my Mom that my Grandma had fallen and broken her hip and would need surgery. I played it cool, made sure she was ok and we went about our trip. I didn’t need to worry my Mom more with my problems.

Our road trip was pretty uneventful. Lots of construction, many tears as we passed by the lab that had our embies not 36 hours earlier, but we made it to Toronto just fine. In one piece, away from reality.
While there, we took a Hippo Bus tour. This is one of those things that can go on both land and sea. The tour guide commended us on our enthusiasm despite the cold weather. It was cold and somewhat cloudy, but so was I, so I didn’t mind. We had a great time touring around the city and seeing the sites. That day for lunch, we went to a great little Italian place not far from the tour place called Joe Badali's and had a great sandwich and wonderful risotto. (We had always wanted to try risotto due to Chef Ramsay) We then headed back to the hotel to change into something a little warmer and went back out. Our first destination after lunch was the CN Tower. It is the world's largest tower and was so cool to go up into. We went to the observation deck, the sky pod and the glass floor. If you ever get a chance, you should check it out. Next we found a large mall and found our Christmas ornament for this year and then we went to what is called the Distillery District for a night out. There we found the Mill St. BrewPub. Had several different brews and enjoyed crab cakes and wings, watched the baseball playoffs and hockey pre-season and then headed back to our hotel. We had walked most of the day, so we were ready for a semi-early night. Tyler passed out pretty quick.

We woke up the next morning and head out for Niagra Falls. To say the least, it was amazing. It was so much more than I thought it would be, and I am so happy to have seen this with the love of my life. He is so my rock.

Why did we do this? I haven't broken down and I have been home for more than 7 hours. This is a plus. I have cried just a little bit, but I am doing ok. This is why we left. Ty seems to be doing ok too. We haven't had any word from the Dr. Office. We only had the call from the lab. Do I wait for the call from the office? Do I just wait for the wtf appointment in November?

We just want answers. We have grieved in our own way...but we do want answers.

1 comment:

Amber said...

I'm glad you were able to escape for awhile. It sounds like you made the best of it.

If I were you I would call your nurse and ask for an explanation. If she won't talk, ask for a phone consult with your RE. You shouldn't have to wait until November.

Continued hugs to you.
Amber (aka somethingchangd)