Today, I found myself not wanting to celebrate the Holidays at all. The sadness seems to be seeping in more lately and I find myself having a hard time keeping it together more and more. I had this cute little onesie I got from the Baby Gap last year that had a cute little tee-pee and Indian on it and I keep thinking about how cute Sophia would be in it. I see my niece and her parents doing all of these "first" things together and just die inside. Ornaments are a killer. I have a pregnant ornament in the ornament box that I know will just shatter my heart when I get it out.
The Holidays suck. Last year I was just beginning to show at Christmas time and everyone was so happy. I'm not happy now. I am a shell of myself. I don't even know what myself is anymore. Hard doesn't cut it. Can I just hide for the next 2 months?