In one day...

In one day your whole world can change. October 12th, 2009, we found out that we were expecting our first child. On April 2nd, 2010, we found out that our precious daughter's heart had stopped beating. In one day we went from a thrilled, exhilarated expecting couple to a couple that had everything swept out from underneath them. In one day, I became a Mother and lost a Daughter.

In the early hours of April 3rd, I delivered our baby girl, Sophia Marie. She was a tiny, beautiful little girl who was the perfect mix of the two of us. My heart swelled and broke in the same instant. I have never, we have never, been through a harder experience in our life.

Our family, friends and colleagues have been here for us throughout. It seems like years since Saturday, and yet it has only been days. I am in a fog, trying to make sense of what has happened, only to realize too well that we may never know.

I miss my baby. I miss Sophia with everything I have. She was my, is my, darling little girl who had a whole, full life waiting for her. She had her Daddy wrapped around her tiny finger from day 1. She had me fawning over her every movement. I honestly don't know how I will ever recover from losing my precious little girl. Somehow I need to find peace and I hope it comes to me one day.

28 Weeks!

Baby's now the size of a squash!

Baby's lungs are mature enough that, if born right now, she has a pretty good chance of surviving (with help from medical technology). Her skin is still pretty wrinkly (one byproduct of living in amniotic fluid) but will smoothen as fat continues to deposit.

27 Weeks! Hello Third Trimester :)

Baby's still the size of an eggplant or a head of cauliflower, depending who you ask :)
Baby's lungs are going through some major developments these days, which (combined with the opening of previously plugged nostrils) means he's now able to practice inhaling and exhaling. The lack of air in your womb means every "breath" is filled with amniotic fluid, but hey -- it's progress.


Today is the day! Third Tri, baby! I am so excited to be able to say that. We had our first prenatal class over the weekend. It was Labor Anesthesia and everything went well. I got to ask my questions about any complications with the Lovenox I was on and if my high blood pressure would need any special care during the epidural. I feel good about things now. We start our Prepared Childbirth classes in April with a slew of others to follow. Things are moving right along and everything seems good. Get to see Dr. S on Thursday for my 2 week appointment. I haven't felt my blood pressure rocket lately, which is a good sign. Still can't believe I can say third tri :)

Nursery Bedding is ordered

Today I finally sucked it up and ordered the bedding for the Nursery. I had really struggled with this because: 1. I am a deal kind of shopper, and 2. I didn't want to jinx anything. This week we will put on the final coat of paint and then on the 29th, the carpet will be installed.

Tyler put up the fan today and it looks great. I swear I stand in that room and just stare. It is amazing to literally see a dream coming true. I love my Hubby so much for everything he has done. (you too, Wayne!) Here's the bedding:

26 Weeks!

Baby's still the size of an eggplant!
Baby's soaking up your antibodies, getting her immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and she'll soon be practicing the blink...perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes.

Not much is new this week. Some m/s...the usual, but doing really well. Excited for March Madness and only one more week until Spring Break! Yay!!

Taa-daa!

25 Weeks!

Baby's now the size of an eggplant!

That oh-so-handy sense of equilibrium is kicking in, and baby's learning to distinguish right side up from upside down.

This week has been much better. The BP meds have helped out and on Wednesday I was moved from every week appointments to every 2 weeks, which I am thankful for. It was ISAT week at school, so that kept me busy and I was able to stay seated most of the time. Things are looking up and I am getting so excited about meeting our little girl. On Saturday, it will be 100 days to go!

24 weeks!

Baby's still the size of a papaya!
Baby's skin is becoming more opaque as the fat starts to pack on. And, thanks to the formation of small capillaries, her newly thick skin is taking on a fresh pink glow.



This past week has been one for the books. Last Tuesday, I started to notice swelling when I came home from school. No biggie.... it happens. Wednesday morning was alright, but during the day, I just didn't feel right. Went home very swollen and it did not go away over night. Thursday morning, I got to school still swollen and thought I should have my blood pressure checked. Sure enough, it was extremely high... when it should be at its lowest. I was scared and I knew what could be coming. I had a headache and it just was adding up to too many bad things. I called the Dr. and a few back-n-forths later, I was squeezed in during the afternoon. BP was still high. They took my blood and found out that not only did I have high bp, but my potassium was way low... which can lead to heart problems. Great!

Dr. S was very good about the whole thing. He knew my concerns and made me feel like we would be ok. Pre-eclampsia was mentioned, more than once, and bed rest was as well. I know what I could be facing and it terrifies me, but I feel like I am in good hands. Baby Girl made it to viability this week, which makes me feel better. I go back in Thursday to talk to Dr. S to see where we go from here.

Dr. Tyler (my DH) has been faithfully taking my bp a few times a day (it is still high) and reminds me to take my bp meds and potassium. God love him, because this pregnant gal can't remember much of anything.

I could use your thoughts and prayers if you can spare them. We will know more this week. Hoping for the best!