Monday, February 28, 2011

Is this thing still on?

I have been MIA for quite awhile. Having mostly good days, but it will be 1 yr in just over a month since my sweet little girl left us. Not sure how I can even begin to handle what this next month will bring. Trying to keep myself beyond busy as we get closer to the date. Flying out to NYC to meet up with some fabulous ladies and just trying to be strong.

In a way, I feel like if I make it through a year, I will really be ok. The other part of me is scared that if I continue to struggle, people will see the worst of me, thinking I should move on. Not sure what will be the case, but I know that I owe it to DH to give it my best. He deserves the best.


Rachael said...

(((hugs))) You can only do what feels right to you, nothing more, nothing less. If other people don't understand, that's their problem. Wish I were heading out to NYC with you! :o)

cjdubs13 said...

All you can do is keeping moving forward at the pace that is right for you. No one can judge you for your feelings even if they have had a similar loss- no one is the same.

Courtney said...

I will be sending lots of love your way the next month.

I will also throat punch anyone that even thinks of judging you.

I love you!

Wiley said...

I can't help but think that the struggle won't ever flip off like a switch. It's only been four months since I found out about our demise, so I don't really know yet, but I would think you'd continue to have a struggle. It's just that the nature and perhaps frequency will change?

Maybe it's try to be and do and give the best, to yourself and your DH, but know that that will always include mourning and sorrow. Pain doesn't keep you from laughing, it just adds a certain edge to it.

gringa78 said...