Yikes

So I have been a pretty bad emotional wreck lately. I don't feel like I am going to ever be a mother. It is hard to see so many pregnant friends and people around me. One of my students may be preggo with a 2nd child, and I teach jr. high. I am just done emotionally. I can't handle much more right now.

My eye is wigging out due to stress and I just don't feel like me. We are heading away for the weekend to our family's cabin and then to the St Louis Cardinals last game of the season. This should be the relaxation I need and crave so much. Right now I just want to curl in with Ty on the couch and watch my estrovision, I mean TIVO, loaded with all my girly shows.

I have a doc appt this afternoon to check levels and see how I am doing. Hope all is well with a good ending to the week. Have a good weekend!

It's Been Quiet Lately

We are starting to get excited about things again. We have had a lot of time to think about our progress and feel like things are lining up. Today I talked with my boss about my infertility and filled him on on what went down, (in broad terms), this summer and what we are looking at in the future. I let him know that I would be gone somewhat often, and sometimes with little notice, and he was okay with it. He thanked me for letting him know, but most importantly wished us all the best and said he knew it would happen for us. That means a lot coming from a man I truly respect and want the best for. So I left his office feeling good and having a big weight off my shoulder.

This weekend was a great weekend with my hubby, but I had my sad moments. I was just feeling down about not being preggo yet. A good friend of ours just had a baby, as well as a co-worker, and it is just getting to me. I held my co-worker's daughter when she was 16 hours old and fell in love. I made it out of the maternity ward without crying and held it together. So I know I can deal... I just like I shouldn't have to.

Today I was warned by my very good friend that an acquaintance has gotten preggo. Now this particular girl just rubs me the wrong way, and I cannot see her as a mother, but I do wish her all the best.

This is the same girl who couldn't stop talking about not really trying, but not stopping pregnancy from happening. It's called unprotected sex. It is not a phenom. If you are fertile, you are likely to get preggo. Deal with it. It is nothing to blab on and on about. This particular convo happened the week after our failed IVF and fave chicki saved me a few times from breaking down that evening. Love you!

SO yah, a post about a whole lot of nothing... but something none the less. Off to drink some beers and eat some grub. Leave me a note with what is going on with you if you choose!