Stim Check #3

Everything looks great. We have 26 measurable follies all in a range from 20-9. Looking at over a dozen eggs when the time comes. Will get the call this afternoon when trigger will be. E2 is over 4000. :)

Stim Check #2

We find ourselves with about 12 on the right and 7 on the left. E2 is about 2212. Looking at follies anywhere from 18 and down. Not quite ready yet. Will be coasting from here on out and getting a check again on Friday!

Stim Check #1

This morning I had my first progress check to see how my follicle counts are going. This will be day 7 of stims. So far we know that the right side has about 10 follies and the left has 5 that are measurable. I am happy with this. Estradiol seems to be at about 1200. Nurse seems happy with things and I should hear back this afternoon so see what the plan is. 

My MFM appointment went well on Friday, as well. She gave me some options that I am mulling over for plan of care, if I should become pregnant. Also, she was willing to listen and try to understand where I was coming from, which meant the most. I feel so much better after that appointment. The bad thing is, she is leaving my Clinic after mid-August. So we will see how that affects things. Right now there is about a 30-70% chance of recurrence, which I am not too hip on, but we know so much more this time than we did before. That lovely hindsight should help.

Not amused.

So our a/c just went out. The ducts were blowing out 90degree air. I will just say that this is the cruelest trick to play on a woman taking Lupron and having hot flashes like they are going out of style.

Not amused! I see our favorite neighborhood bar in our very near future.

Guarded

It is Day 3 of Stims. My RE is stimming me hard this time, knowing I will not be doing another fresh cycle and I find myself truly guarded during this cycle. I am not allowing myself to feel much about anything. I don't think I can.

Yesterday, I was talking to Tyler and I decided that I was truly more scared of this working than if it didn't. I know in my heart of hearts that if this doesn't pan out, we will be ok. We are a fantastic couple. We love to spend time together and be together. A baby, or lack thereof,  is not going to change that. Now, on the other hand, if it does work.....

Friday, I have an appointment with my MFM to go over a game plan as to if this work. I need to know what they are going to do to keep me safe and our bab(y/ies) safe. Truly, I am scared shitless of the same scenario playing out. I need to know that I am going to be taken care of. *sigh* The fun is almost starting :)

Forget how much it hurts and try again...

Yesterday was the start of our last fresh IVF. I had bloodwork drawn, a baseline u/s and everything looks good to go. It took us a long time to get to this point. I am still unsure of where we are and what we are truly doing. My heart is torn, one missing Sophia, the other feeling bad for trying to replace what we miss so very much.

My medical team... yes, I have a team, are very much behind us in every way. They are ultra protective and only want to see us come home with a bundle of joy. I have a wonderful community of ladies who are rooting for us in every way, and our families are on high alert, hoping and wishing us all the best.

So it is... Game on!

My Shoes

I found this today and felt compelled to post it. Mother's Day is so very hard for me to cope with. I wish nothing but the very best for all the varieties of Mothers out there, but today, I hide like it is my job. ((hugs))

 

My Shoes

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.

Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.

I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.

I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.

No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.

I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.